THE FRIENDS IN DEED BLOG

FID listed in Better Business Bureau START WITH TRUST ad in NY Daily News

Friends In Deed will be listed in the Better Business Bureau START WITH TRUST ad in the NY Daily News on April 25th. Only charities that meet all 20 BBB Standards of Accountability are eligible for the BBB Accredited Charity Seal Program.

Friends In Deed being honored by The Village Independent Democrats on May 3rd.

 

GREAT NEWS:  Friends In Deed is being honored by The Village Independent Democrats (VID) at their 55th Annual Awards Gala & Cocktail Reception on May 3, 2012.  Tickets available through VID.  See below for more information or please click here to view the online invitation or make a reservation.

VID is downtown's first and longest standing reform political club with a storied history from ending the last of “Democratic machine” politics in the Village (in the 1950s), to being the home club of Ed Koch when he became mayor.  VID has a stalwart record of progressive Democratic politics and causes, including leading the battle for affordable housing, environmental protection, public education, HIV and AIDS treatment, LGBT rights and marriage equality. VID runs a weekly free tenants clinic for tenant in need of assistance.  At last year’s Gala, the VID honored Dr. Paul Bellman, who has been an incredible resource for FID since the beginning.  Dr. Bellman was recognized by the New York City Council for his outstanding contribution to HIV/AIDS treatment and courageous patient advocacy.

 

Five principles to remember if you're diagnosed with a life-threatening illness...

Five principles to remember

if you're diagnosed

with a life-threatening illness

 

When one is diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, it’s not uncommon to experience a period of “groundlessness.”  It may feel as if your legs are literally knocked out from underneath you.   Quite often, the diagnosis can send you into a state of confusion, shock and even terror.  This is a normal response to very upsetting information.  Friends In Deed is here to help you through these difficult times, to give you some perspective.  Here are 5 principles to remember when you or someone you love is diagnosed with a life-threatening illness:

1) You are not your illness.
In the period following a diagnosis, it’s easy to think of yourself and the illness as the same.  You are not your illness.  You may feel numb, unable to think of anything else, but it’s important to know that you’re the same person you were the day before the diagnosis.  The cancer or the HIV or some other illness does not define you.  You are a living, breathing person with an illness.  After the initial shock and pain of the diagnosis subsides, it’s time to remember the rest of you.

2) You can handle this moment.
No matter how challenging our circumstances – even in the midst of a diagnosis of a serious illness -- most of us can handle life moment to moment.  The anxiety we feel is about the future.  It’s the result of all of the negative predictions that flood our mind.  Take a deep breath.  How do you feel right now?  You can handle this moment.  The only thing we really have is the present.

3) You can make choices.
When you’re diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, you may be faced with a range of treatment options.  Your doctor may strongly recommend a course of action.  You may get second opinions and friends and family members may also weigh in with suggestions.  Gather all the information you need, but remember there is nothing you have to do.  You’re the only one person who truly knows your body.  You have the power to make choices, to say “yes” or “no” to treatments.

4) You can have a life of quality regardless of the circumstances.
All of us know people who appear to have been blessed by life.  They have it all… and they’re miserable.  Every day at Friends In Deed we talk to people who are facing a variety of challenges because of their illness, and so many of them are joyful and alive.  Why is that?  It’s all about perception.  Having a life of quality is not about the circumstances, but how we view them.  When faced with illness, many people realize how precious life is and they become determined to enjoy every moment of it.

5) You are not alone.
It’s easy to feel frightened, powerless and alone when you’ve been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness.  That’s why Friends In Deed is here.  We’re a crisis center where you can find the emotional and spiritual support to help you through this challenging time.  Come to a Big Group and discover that others are going through the same or similar experiences. We provide an open, nonjudgmental space where you can get in touch with your feelings.  You’ll begin to see your circumstances from a much broader perspective.  We can help you deepen your connection to the world and to yourself, while making you aware of your capacity to contain the seemingly uncontainable.  You are not alone.

 

 

Help us celebrate our 20th anniversary with your support today!

Help us celebrate our 20th anniversary with your support today!

Click here to DONATE

Don't miss this article published in The Body written by Roger Kimpton.

To read Roger Kimpton's article in The Body, click on the link below the photo.

Friends In Deed: 20 Years of Service

HIV-Positive Writer Roger Kimpton Reflects on the Impact That New York City's Friends In Deed Has Had in the HIV/AIDS Community for the Past Two Decades

By Roger Kimpton
From The Body

 

Friends In Deed: 20 Years of Service 

 

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT regarding Big Group changes starting March 7th.

Friends In Deed introduces Big Group changes starting the week of March 7th

-- with groups focused on HIV, cancer, caregiving, and grief & bereavement.

 

Tuesday night Big Group to remain the same.

 

Friends In Deed is pleased to announce that beginning the week of March 7^th, we’re making changes that will give our clients the option to attend Big Groups that are focused on one of our core areas of work -- with Big Group meetings focused on HIV, cancer, caregiving, and grief & bereavement.

We’ve discovered that not having specifically focused groups is an obstacle that prevents many people from coming to Friends In Deed.  We believe these changes will help make our groups and services available to a wider population who can benefit from our emotional and spiritual support.

However, the Tuesday night Big Group will remain the same -- where we encourage diversity and gather everyone in the same room -- whether one is living with life-threatening illness, caregiving or grief. 

The way the actual groups are conducted will not change.  And to make sure that anyone who needs our services has a range of schedule options available to them, all clients are welcome to attend any Big Group, even those with a specific focus.

Here's the new schedule starting March 7th:

 

The Big Group:  Grief & Bereavement Focus

Monday -- 12:00pm to 1:00pm

Grieving over the death of a loved one is a natural part of life.  Each of us experiences grief in our own unique way.   This group helps you discover that there’s no right or wrong way to grieve, no set time-frame.  We are built to integrate grief into our experience, if we can just get out of our own way and let nature take its course.

 

The Big Group:  HIV Focus

Monday -- 5:30pm to 6:30pm

When diagnosed with HIV, it’s not uncommon to experience a period of shock and confusion.  After the initial period of shock subsides, we discover that we are not defined by our illness.  No matter where you are on your journey with HIV, this group demonstrates how you can handle life moment to moment. 

 

The Big Group:  Caregiving Focus

Tuesday -- 12:00pm to 1:00pm

Are you a caregiver struggling to find ways to take care of yourself and another at the same time?  When you’re supporting friends and family members who are very ill, fragile, or frightened, it’s important to understand your own limitations and take care of your needs, so that you may take care of others out of your overflow.  This group reminds you that you’re of little use if you don’t take care of yourself first.  

 

The Big Group

Tuesday -- 7:00pm to 8:30pm

The power and uniqueness of this Tuesday night meeting is its diversity. We invite everyone to come together in the same room, whether you’re living with HIV, cancer or another critical illness… overwhelmed with grief… or facing the challenges of caregiving.  Something extraordinary happens when we discover that we’re part of something bigger than our individual circumstances.

The Big Group: HIV Focus

Wednesday -- 7:00pm to 8:00pm

When diagnosed with HIV, it’s not uncommon to experience a period of shock and confusion.  After the initial period of shock subsides, we begin to discover that we are not defined by our illness.  No matter where you are on your journey with HIV, this group demonstrates how you can handle life moment to moment.  

 

The Big Group: Cancer Focus

Thursday -- 5:30pm to 6:30pm

When diagnosed with cancer, it’s not uncommon to experience a period of shock and confusion.  After the initial period of shock subsides, we begin to discover that we are not defined by our illness.  No matter where you are on your journey with cancer, this group demonstrates how you can handle life moment to moment. 

 

Of course, everyone is still welcome to attend any Big Group,

even those with a specific focus.

 

NOTE: The above changes start the week of March 7, 2011.

 

ALL PROGRAMS AND SERVICES ARE OFFERED FREE OF CHARGE.

 

All of our services are free of charge. Please support our annual appeal today.

YOUR GIFT CAN MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE.

PLEASE DONATE TODAY.

YOUR GIFT CAN MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE.

PLEASE DONATE TODAY.

 

A LETTER FROM ALEX - a 15-year-old supporter from California

"I found that I have a huge heart for people living with, and affected by, HIV/AIDS."

 Alex

 

At the end of November, we received the following letter from a 15-year-old girl living in California.  Having learned about Friends In Deed through our connection to the musical RENT, she contacted us in early autumn to say she wanted to raise money for Friends In Deed by conducting a garage sale.  Of course, we welcomed her interest and enthusiasm and even sent her copies of our postcard for her to distribute to her customers.

After the sale, this letter arrived with a check.

 

November 26, 2010

Dear Friends In Deed,

    I have been raising money for your wonderful non-profit organization.  I plan to keep fundraising in the future, and this is what I have raised so far.  Thank you for everything you do for people who really don't know where to turn for help.  You are amazing and I hope to sit in on a Big Group the next time I visit New York.

    I first learned about Friends In Deed through RENT.  The first time I saw RENT, I found that I have a huge heart for people living with, and affected by, HIV/AIDS.  When I started learning about Friends In Deed, I fell in love with everything you do to help people dealing with any life-threatening illness.  I then emailed about fundraising and got in touch with Michael Cohen, who has been a big help along the way.

    I hope that you help many more people; and that more and more people who are struggling would find your facility.  Thank you for all the work you do and I hope you continue being inspired by the lives of those you help every day.

Alex

no day but today

 

Friends In Deed is immensely grateful to Alex for her support of our work and for the generosity of her spirit.  At this time of the year – as we raise much-need funds through our annual appeal – we offer up the words of this 15-year-old as inspiration for us all.   If you’d like to join Alex in supporting Friends In Deed, you can make your donation at our website. DONATE NOW

 

Cynthia O'Neal to be honored by NYCFCC on November 9th.

Cynthia O’Neal – Friends In Deed co-founder – to be honored by the New York City Family Caregiver Coalition on November 9^th

 

 

New York, NY, October 22, 2010 – Friends In Deed is pleased to announce that Cynthia O’Neal, president and co-founder of Friends In Deed, will be one of three honorees at the New York City Family Caregiver Coalition fifth annual evening of Celebration and Gratitude event being held at the Emblem Health Conference Center at 55 Water Street in New York on Tuesday, November 9, 2010.

Focusing on Family Caregivers: Body-Mind-Spirit, this celebration will honor Michelle Bouchard, President of HealthCorps (founded by Dr. Mehmet Oz)… Cynthia O’Neal, author of TALK SOFTLY and president of Friends In Deed (co-founded by Cynthia O’Neal and Mike Nichols)… and Rev. Dr. Barbara C. Crafton, founder of The Geranium Farm, and author, spiritual director, and priest.

Underwritten by Emblem Health, the reception starts at 5pm and the program begins at 6pm.  Following the program, each of the three honorees will participate in an “Author’s Corner” where attendees will have the opportunity to purchase books by the honorees and get them signed.  Attendance at the event is by invitation and requires an R.S.V.P.

Past honorees of this event have included Carol Levine of  the United Hospital Fund,

Gail Gibson Hunt, President of the National Alliance for Caregivers – NAC, Igal Jellinek, Executive Director of the Council of Senior Centers and Services, Inc. – CSCS, Robert N. Butler, M.D., President & CEO of International Longevity Center, Gail Sheehy, Author, Lecturer, Family Caregiver , Mary Ann Tsao, M.D., President & CEO of TSAO Foundation of Singapore, Josefina Carbonell, Assistant Secretary for Aging, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, U.S. Administration on Aging, A Partnership of Faith in NYC  and its Board of Directors: The Rev. Dr. Arthur Caliandro, (Marble Collegiate Church) The Rev. Dr. James Forbes Jr. (formerly of Riverside Church), Dr. Mary S. Mittelman and the Psychosocial Research & Support Program, Center of Excellence on Brain Aging, NYU Langone Medical Center, Ana L. Oliveira, President & Chief Executive Officer of The New York Women’s Foundation.

 

New York City Family Caregiver Coalition (NYCFCC) was founded by National Alliance for Caregivers – NAC and Council of Senior Centers and Services, Inc. – CSCS. The mission of the New York City Family Caregiver Coalition is to create strength out of diversity and build a united forum that will lead to targeted action including advocacy, education, information and public awareness. A “family caregiver” is a person who provides unpaid care for relatives and loved ones. NYCFCC Officers include: Rev. Gregory L. Johnson, Co-Chair, James O’Neal, Co-Chair, Marie Ellen Galasso, Secretary, and Marvin Tolkin, Treasurer.  NYCFCC is located at 49 West 45th Street, 7th Floor, New York, NY 10036

 

Friends In Deed – The Crisis Center for Life-Threatening Illness -- was founded by Cynthia O’Neal and Mike Nichols in 1991.  It has helped transform many thousands of lives through a wide array of free programs and services. Friends In Deed provides emotional and spiritual support to anyone diagnosed with HIV/AIDS, cancer and other life-threatening physical illnesses.  Support is also available for family, friends, and caregivers of those who are ill, and anyone dealing with grief and bereavement. For more information, visit www.friendsindeed.org or call 212-925-2009.

 

MAJOR SCHEDULE CHANGES START AUGUST 16TH DUE TO RENOVATIONS.

Major Renovations During Summer Break

 

Beginning the week of August 16th, our landlord will be starting major renovations of our space.  This coincides with the period of our annual, end-of-summer, two-week break.  However, because of the extensive nature of the work, Friends In Deed will be on a reduced program schedule the week of August 16th and the week after Labor Day.  The reason for this is that we are required by the landlord to pack up items throughout the space as if we were moving.  

As a result, Friends In Deed will be closed* with limited services from:

 

Monday, August 16th

through 

Sunday, September 12th

 

 

*However, we will be open for the following Big Groups:

 

Mon, Aug. 16th at 5:30pm	Tues, Sept. 7th at 7:00pm
Tues, Aug. 17th at 7:00pm	Wed, Sept. 8th at 7:00pm
Wed, Aug. 18th at 7:00pm	Thurs, Sept. 9th at 5:30pm

 

There will be NO other services available at our location during this time.

All services and our regular Big Group schedule will resume on Monday, September 13^th.

 

We will be checking the phones as usual during this period.  

EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL SUPPORT

WHEN WE’RE CLOSED 
If you need crisis support related to critical illness, caregiving or grief when Friends In Deed is closed, please call 212-925-2009 and leave a voicemail message on our crisis line. On weekends and when we’re closed for breaks, we check the phones several times during the day. However, if you are calling regarding an emergency, we strongly urge you to call 911.